Tuesday, May 10, 2011

homemade granola fail

It's Tuesday yall! That means one more day closer to the weekend! Heellll to the YEAH!

So in last night's post I mentioned that I had a bit of baking to do. 

I am a major yogurt lover, and have usually eaten Yoplait my entire life. When it comes to my yogie I am very picky. I like it creamy and smooth, flavorful, and absolutely NO fruit chunks in it! BLEH. There is nothing more dissatisfying than stumbling upon a mushy strawberry. I also don't like plain, non-flavored yogurt, or any kind that is so sweet I can feel my teeth throbbing as I eat it.

Lately, I've been interested in this whole Greek yogurt kick that everyone is on. So at the grocery store the other day, I went out of my comfort zone and purchased a single cup of Okios Greek Yogurt in vanilla flavor. STOP. THE. BUS. Seriously? This crap tasted like 4 month old sour cream in a cup. Why??? WHY I ask you! Why must it be so horrible? You can bet your bottom dollar that doo doo went straight into the trash.

Back to the grocery store I went, and as I almost grabbed for my usual Yoplait yog, I opted to try their version of Greekness. I grabbed a strawberry flavor and tossed it in the cart. When I arrived home I immediately ripped one from the carton and dug in. DAMN. Still sour. Even with strawberry flavoring?? What is wrong with you people that eat this garbage? You're all crazy, I tell ya! Crazy! But wait a second... can't I just add a little sweetener and everything will be fixed? Now, you can bet your TOP dollar on that one! One packet of truvia later and I was a happy girl. The truiva immediately replaced the bitter, sour taste for a more calm, sweet taste. PERFECTO! Nailed it biotch!

You're wondering what all of this has to do with me baking... right? Well, I don't know about you... but I absolutely love to eat my yogie with granola. SO.. I decided to make some from "scratch".

In the mix I used:

1 1/2 c. oats
3/4 c. pumpkin seeds
1/2 c. sunflower seeds
1/2 c. slivered almonds
1/2 c. dried cranberries
1/2 c. goji berries
1/4 c. smart balance vegetable oil (i would have much rather used coconut oil, but didn't have any)
1/4 c. agave nectar
pinch or 2 of pumpkin pie spice and cinnamon

I started by mixing all of my oats, seeds, and nuts together, then spreading them out on a baking sheet and cooking at 350 for about 7 minutes.

While they were cooking, I mixed together the veggie oil, agave, and spices.

Next, I combined the dry with the wet, and added my cranberries and goji berries, and mixed it all together. I then put it back on the baking sheet and into the oven.

I probably shouldn't have been such a dumbass and set a timer... because when I took out the mix.. I knew immediately that it was over cooked. Well, crap! I let it sit to cool, and then put in a baggy while I dreamed of what could possibly make this sh*t taste any good.

YOU GOT IT! My beloved yogie. :-D I mixed up a cup of my Yoplait strawberry Greek yog with a packet of truvia, and topped it with a little granola.

Needless to say, the yogurt didn't mask the chewy, overcooked texture (I like my granola crunchy), nor did it hide the burnt flavor. Major Fail. Capital M-F. I suck. So, the granola was picked out, and just the yogurt was consumed.

Oh well, you will definitely be seeing another batch of this stuff in the future... I won't stop until I get it right!


  1. haha so funny! I have had many epic cooking failures, you just got to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and try, try again!

  2. Hahaha!! i love plain greek yogurt, with some granola and choc chips! pity about the granola, looks like it could have been amazing though!

  3. oh no! :( so sad. i hate when any cooking/baking attempts go wrong.

    i forget to set a time about half the time too, so i get lots of fails...